Been about a month since I been on here. Went through all my journals today, and threw out a lot of thoughts, lyrics, feelings, photo’s, and memorabilia….. that no longer exist. I’ve been angry for weeks, unhappy for months. Wish I could disappear from people & the reality of life sometimes, like most. I’ve lost trust in anyone, currently. I am protecting myself from people who don’t care. I wish for people to stop asking me to trust them while I’m still coughing up water from the last time they let me drown.
Only those who care about you, can hear you when you are quiet. Learning to close doors, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead anywhere.
People aren’t always going to be there for you, that’s why you learn to do handle things on your own. I’m telling myself hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny…But can’t help to just say, Rest in Piece to when I gave a shit.
Don’t underestimate me, I know more than I say, think more than I speak, and notice more than what you realize. When you realize that you’re constantly treating a person a lot better than they treat you, it’s time to make a change. Just because someone desires you, doesn’t mean that they value you.
Someone told me this last week, to be the CEO of your own life.
I know I’m sensitive at times, but truth is, I just feel too much. Every word, action, and every energy goes straight to my heart.
Growth is painful
Change is painful…..
But nothing is as painful as staying where you don’t belong.
I’m thankful for my struggle this year because without it, I wouldn’t have stumbled across what little strength I’ve managed to find that I possess.