So it begins again….


I open my eyes into the sunlight.
and the first thought in my head is you.
you’re in the back corners of my mind all day.
no matter how hard I try to stop it.
you wont get out of my head.
almost as if you were supposed to be there.
like it’s your place. where you belong.
I go about my regular routine.
doing what I always do.
only slightly different.
silently hoping for the phone to ring.
so that I might be interrupted by the sound of your voice.
then being disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
and because you have no idea how bad I want it.
how happy that one thing would make me.
I drive around listening to the radio.
wishing you were there to hold my hand and sing with me.
hoping that someday I might get what I want.
you might actually be there.
I go home and sit.
still cursing my phone for not ringing.
and when it finally does ring, the voice on the other end belongs to someone else.
and once again I’m back where I started.
thinking that maybe, just maybe
if i hope for it long enough, it might come true.
i lay my head to rest at the end of the day.
clutching my pillow and curling into a ball.
my hopes are a little less.
my heart, a little broken.
and my eyes, a little closer to tears.
I close them. wishing you were there beside me.
and fall into my dreams.
dreams of wrapping my arms around you.
tracing my fingertips over your face.
kissing your sweet lips.
and just being in the exact place I spent the whole day wishing to be.
I open my eyes to a new day.
stupidly hoping that when they do open, I will see your face.
but no.
my hopes are met with disappointments.
you’re not there.
it’s just me.
and so it begins again…

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